It is also the perfect time of year when I get to tell everyone what I want for christmas! And so here it is, David Cooper's Official Holiday Wish List.
1. Checks, Gift Cards, and checks.
I'm REALLY strapped for cash most of the time since my credit card company decided to go and screw me up the asshole. And hey, tis the season where I should be getting gifts for others, just think of it as an investment. The more money you give me, the more likely I am to be able to get you something nice in the future. It's economics!
2. A New Zippo
Okay okay I lost my SECOND Zippo lighter...but how am I supposed to ruin my lungs in style without a replacement?
3. A Rug
And a nice one. Not some crappy throw rug, I want a nice comfortable rug that people wouldn't mind sitting on. The kind that's really cozy and all that...
4. Underwear and Socks
It embarasses me to say that yes, I have indeed reached that age where I'm starting to ask for undergarments as a gift and then truly mean it. But the less trips I have to take just to do my laundry, the happier I'll be.
5. Steam Cleaner
I fucking HATE scrubbing those stupid linoleum floors in the apartment that everyone spills beer and soda all over and no one else wants to clean. And do you understand how NASTY it is to actually realize, on your hands and knees, that the floor level is LOWER when the floor is clean? That there is a LAYER of dirt covering the floor? it is just plain disgusting.
That's all I've got for now. So go out and buy me something. Chances are I've done way too much for you.
:)
